Monday, May 14, 2012

let's get real

i've been seeing a lot of bloggers talking about getting, "deep," & posting about , "real," things instead of always posting pretty photos & pretending their lives have no struggle. and then they make their, "real," post, only it's full of BS. the only blogger i've yet to see get, "real," is audrey. and do you know what? i loved it. i love her raw honesty. i loved that she put herself out there. i loved that she was brave & talked about the real shit.

its' true. the blogging world is full of pretty things. and happy mamas. and clean houses. and perfectly styled/dressed children... and that's okay.

i've decided to join holly once a week as she hosts a linky party. she's calling it, "let's get real." and once a week, on every monday, we will write about something uncomfortable or something we'd normally be afraid to share. we're hoping this will inspire others to write & improve on themselves. reflection is an awesome tool & incredibly therapeutic. if you're not sure what to write about, here are some ideas/examples:

  • a body part or personality trait you are self-conscious about 
  • a struggle you're currently going through 
  • a struggle you overcame 
  • something that happened to you 
  • a scary encounter 
  • a move you were reluctant to make 
  • a chance you didn't take 
  • dealing with daily pressures (wife, mother, work, etc)

holly has recruited some of her favorite bloggers, including  mandey, audrey, chelsea, megan and myself. i am honored she asked me to be a part of "let's get real" with her.

we all struggle. we all have inner turmoil. let's use blogging as our platform to inspire & lift each other up. here is our button, so please take it & put it on your blog or use it on your let's get real post. our first posts will be going up monday morning, so be sure to stop by any of the above listed mama's blogs above to link up.

now that all the details are out of the way, LET'S GET REAL...

i was six the first time i remember knowing my step father was touching me inappropriately.

i was 16 when it finally stopped and i told my mom.

i don't really know what a normal reaction would be to this type of news would be, but instead of my mom being on my side that day, she told me not to tell anyone because she didn't want to lose everything she had.

my mom and i had the typical relationship you would expect a rebellious teenage girl and her mom to have before, but i lost a lot of respect for her after that day.

for 10 years, i dealt with the sexual molestation of my step father. no one knew this side of him he was a successful business man, with the perfect house and the perfect family to live there. my mom lived the life she had always dreamed of and wanted to maintain that image more than anything.

i strongly believe that my downward spiral and that followed shortly afterward and later on events were directly related to what he did and the rejection of my mother.

i did as my mom told me to and never told anyone except my very best friends, my ex husband, and jason.

until now that is...

my mom, later on, found out what is was like to be betrayed by my step father. although i don't look at what later happened to my mom (that i will share next week) as one of those "karma's a bitch!" moments, i know deep inside that she now realizes that the man she was married to for 20 years wasn't who she thought he was.

today, i still feel like so much comes before me in the eyes of my mom, but i have accepted that that is how it is. i have no doubt my mom loves me, and she has certainly been there for me at times and done so much to help me out over the years as an adult, but i have always felt there was something missing from our relationship.

although the past is never really spoken of between my mom and i, i can tell my mom knows she made a mistake that day, and together we share this common ground of betrayal by my step dad, that even today we both are still working to overcome.

joni sixcherriesontop (at) gmail (dot) com | twitter | facebook | pinterest | instagram: mamacherry
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